Life, Unfiltered

The Architecture of Discontent

Could you define happiness? What constitutes contentment? At what point in your life do you anticipate meeting your aspirations? And what if those aspirations remain unfulfilled? Who then bears responsibility? I’ve been thinking about these questions for a few years now, not because I haven’t achieved anything, but because I see people close to me always upset that they can’t achieve what their friends have.

It is my belief that we are responsible for establishing our own objectives and defining what constitutes success. Often, individuals tend to gauge their achievements against those of others. This approach, in my assessment, is likely to lead to unfavorable outcomes. One might inquire as to the rationale behind this conclusion. Consider a scenario where an individual perceives a disparity between their current achievements and those of their peers, attributing this discrepancy to external influences. However, the individual has attained other accomplishments in their life that they do not perceive as achievements due to their divergence from the accomplishments of their close associates. Therefore, if an individual bases their perception of achievement on the accomplishments of others, they may never experience true contentment.

An individual in my close acquaintance consistently contrasts her life circumstances with those of her former school peers, particularly noting that her friends were able to pursue master’s degrees while she was unable to enroll in such a program due to financial constraints. She consistently attributes her financial difficulties to her father and close associates, overlooking the lifelong support he has provided and without considering his financial capacity. Despite her marriage and the birth of her daughter, she perceives a lack of significant personal accomplishments. I consistently endeavor to impress upon her that achieving the same professional milestones as her peers simultaneously is not a prerequisite, and that she has the flexibility to pursue her master’s degree at a later juncture. Nevertheless, she consistently expresses a feeling of being considerably behind her peers, which causes her distress. While goal setting is inherently beneficial, establishing objectives that are influenced by external factors and adhere to a shared timeline, without a thorough consideration of critical elements such as financial implications, may predispose the endeavor to an increased risk of failure from its inception. I believe individuals should make a thoughtful decision regarding their aspirations and develop a strategic plan to achieve them, rather than concentrating on the accomplishments of others, which can lead to dissatisfaction.

While healthy competition and diligent effort are crucial for goal attainment, these objectives should not compromise an individual’s well-being through comparative evaluations of success. Run your own race and stop comparing yourself to others. 🏃‍♀️🏁